April felt full but not always in the ways I expected.
Some days were warm and connected, filled with laughter and people. Other days especially Sundays, felt heavy. I’ve started calling them the Sunday blues. It’s that quiet moment at the end of the week when everything slows down, and you’re left alone with your thoughts. Another week has passed, and you start to feel the weight of it, what happened, what didn’t, and the quiet realization that some things in your life haven’t changed yet.
But April wasn’t just about the hard moments.
It was also about showing up, for life, for people, and for myself. One of my favorite parts of the month was something simple: hosting my two mom friends. We cooked together, shared a meal, laughed, and just enjoyed each other’s company. It reminded me how meaningful the simplest forms of connection can be.
I also visited a new church this month. I’m still not sure what to make of it, if I’m being honest. I’m in that in-between place, wanting clarity, but not quite having it yet. Still, I showed up. Family was a big part of April too. I spent time with my baby cousins, cooking, eating, laughing, just being together. Since losing their mum, it’s felt even more important to stay close, to be intentional about showing up. We made a promise to do it more often, and I hope we keep it.
April is my dad’s birthday month, and we took time to celebrate him with something simple, but meaningful. We ate out, spent time together, got him a gift. He’s turning 70 next year and preparing for retirement, which still feels surreal to even say. There’s also that quiet, unspoken thing that lingers in moments like these, the fact that my siblings and I , none of us have given my parents grandkids yet. It’s one of those expectations that sits in the background, especially in an African context. But I find myself coming back to the same truth: God’s timing is still good, even when it looks different from what people expect.
In between all of that, I handled the practical things too. I finally serviced my car and fixed a few things I’d been putting off. Small wins, but satisfying. I also had a win with our family chicken business, I made double what I invested. That felt good. I celebrated it in a small way, treated myself, bought a few things I’d been eyeing.
I’ve also been leaning into personal and spiritual growth. I finished my second book of the year and started a third. I’ve been consuming a lot of Christian content, podcasts, sermons, conversations. And if I’m being honest, those voices have started to feel familiar, almost like friends. Maybe because I’m craving that kind of connection in real life. The kind where you can talk deeply about faith, life, struggles, and growth. I love my friends, I really do, but we’re not always in the same place spiritually, and that can feel isolating sometimes. Everyone is navigating their own journey. And in the middle of that, I’ve had to admit something to myself: I’ve been feeling lonely.
As April comes to a close, one thought keeps coming back to me, I want to learn how to truly find pleasure in God. Not just in the obvious, structured ways, but in the everyday parts of life. In joy. In rest. In the things that make me feel alive. I want to let Him into every area of my life so fully that the things I’ve been holding onto, maybe too tightly, start to lose their grip. Not because I’m forcing myself to let go, but because I’ve found something deeper, something more fulfilling.
...THROUGH MY EYES ✨ 