May felt like a month of movement, emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. It came with moments of joy, connection, reflection, and also a deeper awareness of my inner world, especially my relationship with God. Lately, I’ve been realizing how easily I tie my sense of worth and peace to things feeling “complete” or “in order.” When something is off whether it’s small practical things, relationships, or even my own behavior, I can spiral into shame or distance myself, especially in my faith. I’ve been learning how quickly I fall into old patterns, and how that often leaves me feeling like I’m not “right with God.” But this month has also made me question that posture, the idea that I have to be perfect or fully put together before I can turn back to God.
Instead, I’m slowly learning that faith is not about having everything aligned, but about returning. Again and again. Even in honesty, even in struggle, even in inconsistency. And that shift from shame to return is something I’m still working through.
At the beginning of the month, I treated myself to a few things I’d been eyeing for a while, thanks to some extra cash from shares I hold in a SACCO. It felt grounding to be able to invest in myself a little not out of impulse, but appreciation.
One of the biggest personal wins this month was maintaining my weight loss. It made such a difference during our staff retreat in Watamu. My dresses fit beautifully, and I felt confident in my skin. The coastal humidity, the ocean air, and the slower pace of life there made the experience feel refreshing in more ways than one. The retreat itself was a mix of emotions. Having worked mostly virtually, being in person with colleagues brought a bit of social anxiety back, overthinking conversations, navigating group dynamics, and noticing how easily I can fall into internal pressure in social settings. At the same time, it was also beautiful: the ocean at night, shared meals, laughter, and finally putting faces and energy to people I usually only see on screens. I left feeling both relieved and grateful.
Earlier in the month, I also went on a mini road trip to Naivasha with church friends. It was long drives, cycling, swimming, walks, and easy conversations that didn’t require effort. It reminded me how important it is to step out of routine and simply be with people in a light, present way. I also had a long-overdue movie date with friends that felt grounding and restorative in the simplest way.
Across the month, I noticed how much I value depth in my relationships and my everyday life. I’m less interested in surface-level interactions and more drawn to honesty, sincerity, and spaces where I can just be myself. I’m also becoming more aware of how draining workplace politics and gossip can feel for me, and how much I prefer authenticity over performance.
At work, the retreat also sparked something new in me. The presentations on finance, operations, and strategy made me realize I still have so much to contribute. Even in a consultancy role, I don’t want to just execute tasks. I want to think, suggest, and lead where I can. It felt like a subtle but important mindset shift toward taking more initiative instead of waiting to be directed.
Outside of work and social life, there were quieter joys too, discovering new podcasts, reading, watching shows and films I enjoy, and catching up with friends over lunch dates. I’m realizing more and more that I have very specific tastes now. I want content and conversations that feel meaningful, thoughtful, and a little more intentional.
As I approach 35 next month, there’s also a growing awareness of time and direction ,thinking about career progression, financial security, health, and the kind of life I want to keep building. I don’t feel like I need everything figured out, but I do feel a stronger desire to be intentional about what I carry forward into the next season.
This month also marked three years in my apartment, which felt quietly significant. I’m thinking of refreshing my space a little, cleaning, reorganizing, and adding small touches that make it feel even more like home.
Overall, May was a month of connection and contrast, joy and anxiety, clarity and overthinking, faith and struggle, rest and reflection. But beneath it all was a steady thread of growth. A reminder that becoming isn’t always loud or dramatic. Sometimes it looks like returning to yourself, noticing your patterns, enjoying your people, and slowly learning to live with more honesty and intention.
...THROUGH MY EYES ✨ 