September wasn’t a bad month at all, although I don’t think I would describe it as particularly exciting either. If anything, it felt like one of those months where life just… happened. I worked, ate, watched movies, slept, went out when I needed to and then did it all over again. There were quite a few days when I realized that I had absolutely no desire to do anything beyond getting through work, being home, getting comfortable in my room and switching my brain off. I think I had said earlier in the year that I wanted more ease, and perhaps this is what that looks like sometimes, although I will admit that I’ve found myself wondering whether I’ve leaned a little too far into the work, eat, chill and sleep routine.
One area where I really struggled this month was getting into the Word. I just wasn’t feeling it, and I don’t particularly like admitting that because I know how important it is to me. Instead, I listened to a lot of podcasts, discovered some new Christian artists, started a book and attempted to finish it, but my Bible reading just wasn’t happening the way I wanted it to. At the same time, though, I’ve realised that I haven’t necessarily been disconnected from God; I’ve still been thinking about Him, learning about Him and looking for Him in different ways. I finally started my discipleship classes and I absolutely love them. There is something so fascinating about sitting down and talking about our Creator, learning more about the faith, looking at different theories and learning how to actually defend what we believe rather than simply accepting that we believe it because we are Christians. KDC 101 has been particularly awesome so far, and I’m genuinely looking forward to completing the entire course.
Church has been a little more complicated. I enjoy the worship and the prayer sessions, but I’ve been struggling with the sermons because I’m so used to being taught in a particular way, you read the Word, someone explains the passage, you work through what it means and you leave with something to think about, and I’m finding it difficult to adjust to a different style of preaching. I haven’t quite figured out what it is about the sermons that isn’t clicking for me, but I’m going to keep going. I’m still expecting to meet God there, and I think that’s probably more important than whether everything is delivered in the exact way I would prefer.
Something else that has apparently happened this year is that I’ve fallen out of love with an entire category of breakfast foods. I can no longer stomach sausages, bacon or ham, which has left eggs doing an unreasonable amount of work in my life. I have eaten so many boiled eggs that I am officially tired of boiled eggs, and I’ve had to start looking for other breakfast options because apparently I cannot survive on eggs forever. I’ve settled on crepes and beef samosas for now; I make the crepes myself using this incredibly easy recipe I found on Instagram, and I buy the samosas in bulk and freeze them, which has been working surprisingly well. I’m also seriously considering getting an air fryer because I keep thinking about all the things I could make in it , chicken wings, fish fillets, meatballs, chicken pieces basically anything that gives me another protein option to have alongside my pancakes and samosas.
I’ve also accepted that I don’t actually enjoy meal prepping as much as I thought I did. By day three, I am bored. It doesn’t matter how good the food was when I cooked it; once I’ve seen the same meal sitting in the fridge for several days, I no longer want anything to do with it. So I’m trying to stop forcing myself into this idea that I need to cook a huge amount of food on Sunday and eat it for the rest of the week. I’d much rather cook smaller amounts more frequently and actually enjoy what I’m eating. Unfortunately, September also involved quite a bit of takeout, and by “quite a bit” I mean there was a lot of KFC. KFC remains the bane of my existence, and every time I order it I think about all the other things I could have spent that money on, including, hilariously, replacing my face products. So that’s one thing I’m hoping to get a little better at in October, not by declaring war on takeout or suddenly becoming the person who meal preps seven identical containers of chicken and vegetables, but simply by making sure I have enough food at home that I actually want to eat.
I’m also officially travelling to Mauritius for work in November, and that has brought up a whole collection of feelings that I probably need to unpack before I get on that plane. I’m excited because, obviously, Mauritius, but I’m also nervous about the social side of it. Five days around a lot of people, in a work environment, with all the expectations that come with an official work trip, is very different from going somewhere on holiday and disappearing into your room whenever you need a break. Then there’s the clothes. What am I going to wear? How much do I need to pack? What does “work appropriate but also Mauritius appropriate” even mean? I can already feel myself overthinking it. I’m trying to remind myself that I don’t suddenly need to become an extrovert because I’m travelling for work; I can be friendly, participate, do my job and still give myself some quiet time when I need it. But yes, I’m nervous.
One of the more interesting things I’ve noticed about myself lately is that I don’t think I enjoy being alone quite as much as I used to, particularly on Sundays. I find myself wishing I had a friend who lived nearby, someone I could just call and say, “What are you doing?” and then make a completely spontaneous plan with. But September also gave me a little reminder that being alone isn’t necessarily the same thing as being lonely, because for the first time ever, I went on a solo movie date. And what did I choose? Avengers: Endgame Encore, obviously. 😂 It was essentially Endgame again, with some additional scenes, which is exactly the kind of thing I would willingly pay money to watch twice. There was something oddly satisfying about going to the cinema by myself, getting my snacks, finding my seat and just enjoying the movie without needing anyone else to come along. It was actually really nice, and probably less scary than I had built it up to be in my head. And the funniest part is that walking out of the cinema, instead of thinking, “Okay, I’ve had enough Marvel for a while,” I was basically thinking, “Right. I’m ready for Avengers: Doomsday now.”
I also had a really nice hangout with my two friends, Molly and Naomi this month, where we mostly taked, lsitened to music and just enjoyed being together, and it reminded me how much I enjoy that kind of simple companionship. We also went to a 35-and-over singles function, which was actually pretty nice, and I think I’ll probably go again since they hold it on the first Sunday of every month. I’m not trying to turn it into some grand mission, but I do think I’m becoming more open to putting myself in places where I can meet people and build new friendships, because apparently I am no longer entirely content to spend every Sunday in my room by myself.
Speaking of my room, after three years of living in my apartment I’ve finally decided that perhaps it is time to actually decorate the place. Nothing dramatic , I’m thinking about the entryway, maybe a few scented candles, some kitchen items and perhaps a couple of framed pieces , but I realized that I’ve spent the last three years being very practical about my home and not really making it feel like mine. I do want to be sensible about the spending, though, especially because I’d like to know where things stand with my role at work before I start spending money on things that aren’t necessities. I’ve been saving the extra money I have after paying my bills and building up my emergency fund, so for now I’m quite happy to let the apartment evolve slowly.
I also spent a ridiculous amount of time researching phones this month and somehow I’m still undecided about whether I should buy a new one or simply repair the one I have. I’m weirdly attached to my current phone, which makes absolutely no sense considering how much time I’ve spent looking at newer models. Maybe I’ll eventually make a decision, or maybe I’ll still be having this exact conversation with myself in December.
Work, as usual, was busy, but this is one area where I genuinely don’t mind the busyness. I feel like I’m entering a really good season in my career where I’m becoming much more comfortable in my role, learning as I go and starting to understand what I’m capable of. I don’t have everything figured out, but I feel like I’m growing, and I increasingly have this sense that my career can only get better from here. There is something really satisfying about feeling settled enough in your work to actually enjoy the process of figuring things out rather than constantly wondering whether you’re doing enough.
So, no, September wasn’t a particularly dramatic month, but it was full of little realisations, small changes and quite a lot of ordinary life, which perhaps makes it a pretty accurate reflection of where I am right now. I’m looking forward to October, to getting back into some kind of rhythm, figuring out this food situation, preparing for Mauritius, continuing with discipleship and hopefully finding my way back into the Word without turning it into another thing I have to feel guilty about.
And, of course, I’m very much looking forward to The Diplomat, Nobody Wants This and eventually Avengers: Doomsday.
